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I have a terrible relationship with my mother. She was very strict with me when I was growing up and I can’t get that out of my mind. It is so bad that I can’t even tell her I love her, even though I do. I’m about to give birth to my twin girls and I want my mother to be part of their lives. How can my daughters get to know their gogo when I don’t even know her well? Please help, I’m really stressed.
Stressed, Durban
 
Aunty Lisa says
 
 

I wonder how old you and your mother are. Many of the older generation were strict disciplinarians when they brought up their children, and they did not give their children a chance to talk to them. Many believed that children knew nothing and that they should not ask questions, argue or contribute to any discussion. This did not mean that parents did not love their children. They did. The problem is that they showed this by being strict, whereas, in their minds, they were protecting them and grooming them for a bright future. I hope you will agree with me when I say that if it weren’t for her being so strict, you wouldn’t be where you are today. Have you noticed what has become of spoilt children? In most cases, they don’t make it in life.
 
So don’t stress. Forgive her and try to understand why she was like this. Love your mother and let her be part of your children’s lives. You are very lucky to still have a mother – not many people have this privilege. Act before it is too late, otherwise one day you will regret a lot and your children will ask you endless questions and that will hurt and frustrate you even more. Try your best for your own sake and for the sake of your children.








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