Dear Aunty Lisa,
My dilemma goes like so. I’m married to a soldier and some months ago he got deployed elsewhere on duty and I fell pregnant when he left. He must have impregnated me just before he left (like literally the day he left). I did not have an affair or even talk to another man while he was deployed. Besides our faith in God, vows, and moral upright attitudes, we are overwhelming in love with only each other (we make people throw up because it is so extreme).
Now, the reason I am asking this question and seeking opinions is because I’m known as a joker with my husband because I love making him laugh. We have been having a hard time conceiving for about almost a year that we have been having unprotected sex. All attempts have failed and we were already considering adoption because our faith restrains us from exploring infertility treatments besides prayer that aren’t absolutely medically necessary.
My husband has been completely supportive and excited whether we became pregnant or adopted, so we were set. So just before he got on the plane, I made a joke saying: ” Honey, I promise I will not try and conceive while you are deployed.” We laughed and said our goodbyes because we have this type of relationship, but you know with military men and horror stories of the infidelity that goes on in the military, I shouldn’t have made that joke at that time. He knows I am loyal and I despise adultery. But still..
Ok well, I was waiting for my period this month and I totally expected it. With age my period has become more and more likely to be irregular than regular (i know oxymoron but I don’t know another way to explain it), so I expected it to be late. However, it totally didn’t come expect for brief spotting when I usually have a VERY heavy cycle. So, I thought I was going through menopause before ever thinking pregnancy. Well, belief in God is very effective because guess what..there is a bun in my oven! Go figure!
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has some advice on how I can break this news to my husband (after making the joke I mentioned earlier) while he is deployed or should I wait until he comes back?
I really don’t need the congratulations ladies (I know this is always expected although I don’t know why) because pregnancy is not an achievement that takes talent or skill. It is a normal function of life. I’m pleased that it has occurred, but I would have been just as happy if I would have adopted, as well. How do I tell him that while he was away I fell pregnant?