Hello Aunt Lisa,

I know I should comply but it’s rather difficult for me. My husband wants us to spend the whole weekend in bed, having sex as his birthday present.

It’s difficult for me because we are just back after a separation of four months. We had been fighting a lot and so I chose to take some time apart. I needed that time for an exam too.

We are amicable now but I don’t feel like spending the whole weekend in bed with him. I suggested we do something else but he was kind of begging me for it. He says he doesn’t want anything else for the birthday. What should I do?
The thing is we have unresolved issues. The fights we had were not petty fights every other couple has. He used to get very mad at me. I had come to the point where I couldn’t handle the stress and hence, I decided to leave for a while, because I needed to recover.

Sure, we have given another chance to our relationship and will be going for counselling too but he feels that sex will quickly fix all the negative stuff. It doesn’t work like that for me, sadly. To those of you, who will be lashing out at me for depriving him of sex, please understand that I loved being initmate with him.

Sex was not an issue in our marriage. It’s when the fights became overwhelming that I stopped wanting to be affectionate. Since we have just got back, I feel there is a lot to catch up on emotionally before we start having sex.

I don’t know aunty, what should I do?

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