Hello aunty Lisa,

I come from a very traditional family that believes a woman who had premarital sex has no value. My mom told me this over and over she also told me that if I had premarital sex then no man would want to marry me.

When I was 19 I met the man of my dreams, a rich man, so afraid that he would not like me I told him I was a virgin, which I had since lost my virginity.  We have been married for 7 years now and we have a 2 year old child together.

When I was 19, young and stupid I thought this little white lie would be harmless but now that I am 27 years old I have matured and realize that what I did was absolutely wrong. This has been eating me up inside. I’m afraid to tell him because he is the super jealous type that would break walls. I’m afraid that he will hate and resent me. I love him so much, he is such a great person and he adores me, I don’t want to hurt him. should I tell him that I faked my virginity? Or should I just keep quiet? If I have to tell him, how do I start the topic?

Before you guys give me an answer I just would like to note that he confessed to me 2 years ago that he was addicted to porn (he seeked help) and 3 years before that he was a gambling addiction. If he loved porn too much, that means he too wasn’t a virgin when we got married.

So he is no angel himself but I take great care of him and I don’t judge him for what he was before we met. However what is just eating me is whether I should tell him or not that I lied to him.

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