Hie Aunty Lisa

I’m about to turn 27 and I have never had a relationship or sex. It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to think that I will end up dying alone.

I’m quite shy and can’t really talk to women when I go out, so always end up going home early. I was bullied through school and rejected many times, which led to depression and I spent some time on a psychiatric ward, which I think has hindered things.

I also ruined things with my best mate (who’s female), as I fell for her and went a bit crazy about her. It also led to me falling out with my sister, as she’s friends with her too, and she chose her pal over me.

What can I do to make things better and feel happy again?

Aunty Lisa says

I think you would benefit from counselling as an ongoing source of support. Speak to your GP about a referral – they should know your previous history – and explain how you’re feeling now.

It’s good that you’re acknowledging you need some support now, so you don’t end up slipping back into depression.

It sounds like the legacy of being bullied at school is still with you and it makes you fearful of social situations. It’s understandable. But it would really help to put those feelings on the table, dissect them with your counsellor and make sense of them.

A counsellor can also give you exercises to do to help build up your confidence, and just having someone to talk to is amazing.

Building up your confidence isn’t something that’ll happen over night, but you will get there if you persevere. Try self-help books, too. There are lots out there to build your confidence and audio versions you can listen to on your way into work. Check out Amazon reviews.

As for finding romance, you’re only 26 so you have plenty of time to meet someone, fall in love and have sex.

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