Think you know your p3nis pretty intimately? Well it has superpowers even you haven’t discovered yet. There’s a lot more to your member than meets the eye! Here are six crazy things you didn’t know your p3nis could do.

It’s a “Semen Displacement Device”

While you probably think of your dong as a device designed to inject semen during s3x, it’s also engineered to remove the semen of competitors, suggests research from the State University of New York, Albany.

You know that ridge at the base of your p3nis head—the raised part just north of your shaft? While you’re thrusting in and out of your partner, that ridge rakes away the semen of any foes who may have slid into home base ahead of you, the researchers say.

It Can Survive Decapitation

Penectomy is a procedure that involves removing part or all of the p3nis. (It can be necessary if you have p3nis cancer.) But like the headless horseman, your dipstick doesn’t die if you cut off its head.

You can still urinate, have s3x, and ejaculate even if the head has been removed, finds a study from Brazil.

It Can Predict How Your Brain Works

Men whose flaccid penises hang to the left—and that’s the majority of us—may be “left-brain dominant,” suggests research from the journal Human Reproduction.

Due to developmental hormones, left-brain dominance is also tied to right-handedness, a larger right foot than left, and other forms of body asymmetry, the study authors say.

The left brain hemisphere plays a large role in speaking, logic, and mathematical computations. The right brain is big when it comes to spatial and visual information, and pulling context out of a person’s words and tone.

So if your dick dangles to the left, that could help explain why you’re great at algebra but crappy at guessing your girlfriend’s mood.

It Can Ejaculate While Limp

While boners and ejaculation are usually a package deal, you don’t have to be hard to expel semen, shows a study from California’s Oakland Medical Center.

Your pelvic muscles contract when you blow your load. But those muscles aren’t directly tied to the processes that make your p3nis erect. So while unusual, you can let fly even if you’re flaccid, the study authors say.

It Can Eject Semen Up to 8 Feet

That’s according to a study conducted years ago at the University of Indiana by the famous s3x researcher Alfred Kinsey. While there’s not much new data backing up that finding, one recent study from Weill Cornell Medical College found the force with which you ejaculate corresponds directly with how satisfied you feel about your orgasm.
It Smiles during s3x

A study from France looked at the shape of your schlong during s3x. When you and your partner are in the missionary position, your penis—including the portion of your shaft inside your body—basically forms a smile-shaped curve.

Why? Because it’s happy, of course!

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