Hey Aunty Lisa,

I’m having some kind of problems in my love life.

I just found out that I’m pregnant and when I told my boyfriend, he asked me to have an abortion. When I refused he broke up with me. I love him and I don’t know what to do.

Dear Friend,

First of all let me congratulate you for having joined the pre-motherly stage. You will soon be a mom and learn how wonderful it is to have someone who calls you mother.

Secondly, I want to thank you for refusing to abort your child-to-be, your gift from God and your first ever pregnancy.

The medical abortion normally causes side effects such as pain and cramping, as well as bleeding accompanied by the passage of blood clots and tissue. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, headache, dizziness, and hot flashes or fever may also occur.

The risks are fewer when an abortion is done in the early weeks of pregnancy. The further along in the pregnancy, the greater the chance of serious complications and the greater the risk of dying from the abortion procedure. For example, thousands of women die every year while aborting, especially is the pregnancy is 16 weeks old or more.

Also know that multiple dilations and curettages (the cleaning out of the uterus, also known as a D&C) can cause scarring at the top of the cervix or inside the uterus. Any procedure that dilates the cervix – a necessary step during most abortions – can weaken it. So if you’ve had more than one abortion and you get pregnant again later on, you may find that you have what’s known as an incompetent cervix, a cervix that starts dilating prematurely.

In the event that you have eventually decided to abort (unfortunately without Aunty Lisa’s blessings), always do it the legal way. Visit your doctor and he will take it from there.

Now on your relationship, many young guys enjoy sex so much but are usually not ready to face reality if unplanned pregnancy turns out to be the end product of sex. However, study has revealed that within even two years of giving birth after the boyfriend demanded abortion, that same boyfriend is always the one who will enjoy the company of the unplanned baby. With that in mind, even if your boyfriend says he is not going to look after the baby, I assure you that within the first 12 months of giving birth, you will see your boyfriend changing his mind and beginning to love the baby.

While in some cases demanding abortion means that the boyfriend wasn’t serious about the relationship (which is usually the case), it however, in other cases means that the boyfriend is merely not ready to become the father. But once the woman gives birth, the guy automatically becomes a father, and he then begins to realise that he was just being a victim of fear of the unknown.

Lastly, nearly 90{863ae21f3883e951777bdbc8607717246c41fed58c5a71d477243a35f9718ce7} of all women who were orders to abort by their boyfriends, were dumped within the first two months of getting rid of the pregnancy. While you might be lucky enough to fall in the 10{863ae21f3883e951777bdbc8607717246c41fed58c5a71d477243a35f9718ce7} that won’t get dumped soon after aborting, it is unwise to ignore what this hypothesis has always proved true to many couples.

Lastly, It’s good that you still love your boyfriend. Talk to him and let him realise that you are not going to abort (if that’s your decision). Also consider visiting a medical expert together for medical advice. If you receive a medical advice in his presence, I’m sure that might help to calm him down. This is however a bit tricky now since you say he has already dumped you, I strongly believe he would still have dumped you even if you had aborted.

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