Hi Aunty Lisa,
I am a girl aged 21. I was dating two guys and I had unprotected sex with one of the guys I was dating. I then fell pregnant after having unprotected sex, when I told the guy that I’m now pregnant, he denied that he is responsible for my pregnancy. He said he ejaculated outside we had sex twice that day. With another boyfriend of mine we always use protection. now am confused aunty Lisa, Please help me to solve my issue. I need to know how I conceived.
Hi my dear,
Congratulations that you will soon be a mother. Children are a gift from God and you will soon see how sweet it is to be a parent. Thank you for reaching out to aunty Lisa, a professional counsellor who assists with free and quality solutions that solve many social aspects people often face in life.
I will not comment much on dating two guys, because it’s already water under the bridge. But I would not have done my job properly if I don’t mention that dating two or more guys at once is not a good practice in any relationship. First get rid of the first one then look for the second one. That way you won’t have problems like the one you are currently facing.
Common sense rules that the guy you had unprotected sex with is the one who got you pregnant, but it is still very possible that the second guy might be the real father. He might have messed up while removing or even wearing the condom, or the condom might have burst and he didn’t reveal it to you. These are however weak arguments, but I personally strongly believe that the guy whom you had unprotected sex with is the one who impregnated you.
Let me also take this opportunity to teach you and other guys about this pregnancy-preventing method called withdrawal method. It’s a natural method that you first boyfriend wanted to use. Although it prevents the woman from falling pregnant, if done correctly, unfortunately it doesn’t protect against any sexually transmitted diseases. What one needs to do after using a withdrawal method, he should urinate first before having another round of sex, otherwise he is very much likely to get his lover pregnant. Some men only withdraw after partially coming inside, and this often gets the woman pregnant anyway.
So it because of these complicated requirements of this pregnancy-preventing method that makes me believe that the guy who didn’t use a condom is the one who impregnated you.
Unfortunately there is no any way you can tell if he is the one who impregnated you until you give birth. At this particular moment you can only be speculative, based on certain facts (such as who used a condom and who didn’t) to assume the likely father of your unborn child.
I recommend that you explain to your boyfriend who didn’t use protection that he could still impregnate someone even if he didn’t ejaculate inside, especially if had more than one round. That method requires so much expertise and self control which some men lack. But if used correctly, some can go for even 10 years while using it as birth control method.
You might have to wait until you give birth then go for DNA tests with the boyfriend who didn’t use protection first. But next time, my dear, avoid having sex with two different men in a single day and let alone cheating on your boyfriend with another guy.
I also presume that your boyfriend was not ready to get married to you, which is why he is denying impregnating you. Maybe you were cheating on him because you didn’t trust him either. If it is that he was looking forward to marrying someone else, then only DNA tests after giving birth would settle your dilemma.