Hi Aunty Lisa,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months now (I’m 16 and he’s 15), and he’s the the one of the greatest guys I’ve ever met. He’s smart, handsome, polite, a true gentleman, has an awesome body, and always knows how to cheer me up. Whenever we hang out we always have a good time and rarely get into any type of disagreement. My parents love him and say I have a good catch. I’m very happy with our relationship and I feel as though we’re ready to start having sex. The only problem is my boyfriend. Whenever I’ve tried to hint that I want to fool around, he always tries to deflect the subject to something else. He’s kind of shy and on top of that he’s still a virgin (I’m not), so I guess that’s why he keeps avoiding it. But I just want to take this thing to the next level.
Last night I was at his house (His parents are out of town for the next couple of weeks), I didn’t want to go home so I asked him if I could stay over and he said I could. We were on the couch watching TV and I then we started making out, after I started taking off my t-shirt he stopped and just kept on watching TV. I tried putting my hand on his crotch but he pushed it away. I was kind of mad but I didn’t say anything. After a while I asked him if he had any clothes I could sleep in and he told me to go search him room, I put on a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt and came back downstairs and he didn’t say anything about how I looked. We watched TV for a bit longer and then around 2:00am I said that I was tired, I asked him if I could sleep in his bed and he said yeah. I thought we were going to be sleeping together and finally have sex but instead he just went to sleep on the couch and that was it. The whole time I was hinting pretty hard about how I wanted to have sex, but he just ignored it. Even this morning I was trying to get him in the mood but he just went on like nothing was happening.
I just don’t understand. I thought that guys have sex on the brain 24/7 and I was sure that since we were alone he would try something but NOTHING happened. I mean, I know it’s every guys dream to have the house to themselves with a girl over but he just acts like he doesn’t care about sex at all. I asked him if he’s ever tried to hook-up with someone before and he told me: “My parents always told me that it was disrespectful to ask a girl for sex, so I just stayed away from the topic.”
How do I get him to want to have sex? Me and my last two boyfriends did it all the time, countless times, so I guess I’m used to it. But my current boyfriend doesn’t even try and make a move on me, he doesn’t even talk about sex at all. How do I make him more open and willing about it? Any advice would me greatly appreciated.