Dear Aunty Lisa,

I am a married woman with two children. My husband is an office executive and earns good pay. But I’m not getting sexual satisfaction in my marriage. I am also employed and working though I have a business too but lack of sexual satisfaction in my marriage has left a deep urge in me.

I am sexually attracted to a man at work and I have given him all the signs which he understood and followed up.

He is also married but is equally attracted to me and we have been having sex in the office at the slightest opportunity.

I know that very soon, tongues would start wagging and the gossip will spread. Some of my colleagues have started giving me the ‘I know something’ look but couldn’t say anything to my face.

What do I do about this?

Lerato, Pretoria

Aunty Lisa’s Response

Dear Lerato,

Are you asking for my opinion on whether you should continue this workplace dalliance? Sexual attraction in the workplace is readily combustible and often hard to resist or extinguish once the fires start raging. Let me tell you something; when you continue and this gets prolonged, it would rarely stay neat, sweet and discrete.

Both of you are married and none of you would leave his or her spouse for a variety of reasons, ranging from the psychological to the financial. Then the guilt eventually becomes a disruptive third party making the rendezvous increasingly conflicted and neither lover is absolutely immune, whether married or single.

It’s also possible that you are acting out anger toward your spouse with an affair as you are not getting sexual satisfaction in your marriage. Usually, it’s better to confront the problems in your marriage, decide if you can or cannot make the marriage work and start over, sadder and wiser, in your marriage or on your own.

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