I asked my man where our relationship was going and he said we’d see. He said he wanted to continue with me and see where this ended up. I didn’t know how to respond to this. Isn’t a relationship supposed to have a planned path? Everytime he visits he wants to have sex with me but he doesn’t buy me anything or talk about marriage. Is it ok if i refuse to have sex with him?

Mom replies: He is seducing you. The situation suits him perfectly. You don’t know where the relationship is going, he is getting the “cookie” with no real commitment on his part. I would advise you to go boy-watching regularly. Take him out of his comfort zone by pulling away a little. The minute you pull away, he will pull up his socks. Doing nothing about your situation will allow him to have his cake and eat it.

Boitumelo replies: Let’s be fair, he also has the right to take his time to see if he really wants you as his future wife or if he is ready to be a husband. Sometimes we forget that men too need to take time to choose the right partner for themselves. It sounds like he is not sure about the relationship and wants more time to explore it. He is not saying it’s over. It’s good that you expressed that you’re not in this to be tagged along for fun. Take this as an opportunity to explore the relationship further

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