I AM a man aged 30. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over five years. I know that she is the perfect person for me in every way.

We have both done well in our careers, have a wide circle of good friends and enjoy the same interests. I am in the process of building a new home which I was hoping we would move into by the end of the year.

However, I have commitment problems. She has always been honest that she would like to get married and have children in the future. Whenever she brought up the subject I would talk about something else or ignore her.

She sat me down recently and said she wants a definite date of when we will get married. All I wanted to do was run for my life. I am not sure how to win her back because some of her friends told me she has been sleeping with a man who has a large manhood and is very good in bed.

I have seen very few marriages work out, including members of my family. The last time, when I refused to discuss it with her, she packed her bags and walked out.

I haven’t seen or heard from her since. I have tried everything. This has given me time to reflect on our relationship and my life.

I realise now how selfish I am and how much I have hurt her. I have decided to back off for a while but it is killing me.

RESPONSE
Most people manage their relationships easily. For a few, however, commitment is a serious issue.

This is surprising in your situation though because you have been with your girlfriend for so long. You are sure of your feelings for her, so what is holding you back? You are not too young to get married and start a family.

You need to examine your true feelings. Make a decision whether you really want to change because only you can do it. No one else can do it for you.

Often when a relationship goes on for many years without a commitment, it often is an indication that someone in the relationship is not ready or prepared to take it further. Your girlfriend probably feels rejected and is very hurt.

There is no easy way to fix this. You are going to have to be patient and give her time.

If she gives you another chance then you are going to have to be open and honest about your feelings for her.

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