Hie Aunty Lisa

I’m a newlywed and am very happy and in love with my husband. I was previously with an emotionally abusive man for five years but, even though it was a very volatile relationship he was incredible in bed and I was more attracted to him than anyone I’ve ever been with. I also had more in common with him than I do with my husband.

Recently, I sent my ex a message via Facebook to express my feelings about our relationship and how I had forgiven him and myself, and wished him well.

He responded and we ended up chatting. He told me he has a serious girlfriend and a new baby with her, but he also told me he would be interested in hooking up with me.

I’m torn between feeling guilty, sad for his girlfriend, validated and honestly tempted to do it. I know this is not a wise thing to do and I can’t imagine my life without my husband, but there is a big part of me that wants to see him and sleep with him again. The sex was so good and he has a big one.

What is wrong with me?

Aunty Lisa says

You’re lured by the sexual excitement and the fact that it’s wrong, but you need to wake up and take a hard look at what you could potentially lose in the cold light of day – your husband, who you say you love.

You’d also cause devastation for your loved ones. And what about his girlfriend and child?

Good sex is not the whole story and in this case you have to ask yourself why you still want to be in touch with an emotionally abusive man who is now willing to cheat on his partner. And why are you looking to him for acceptance and approval?

It sounds as if he still has the ability to control you so, the choice is this – you give into it or you fight it. You might think that the longing you feel won’t go away, but it does.

Start to take control. Stop messaging him and responding to his messages, and focus on your lovely husband who treats you as you should be treated.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. We’re all susceptible to temptation and sometimes it points to a lack of excitement elsewhere that you need to address.

So don’t let your ex wreck your current happiness

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