Dear Aunty Lisa
My husband is a serial womaniser and I know he’s been with several other women since we’ve been together.
In February we went on holiday with my sister-in-law who had her own bedroom, as she told me she doesn’t share a bed with her husband, not even at home.
I’m pretty sure my husband was going to her room in the early hours of the morning. I woke up a few times and found him gone.
Of course, he claimed he’d just been for a walk, but who does that at 4am? l confronted her, too, and she denied he’d visited her in her room.
l trust my instincts and, although they’re both denying it, I’m convinced they’ve been sleeping together. She and her husband (my husband’s brother) live about 15 minutes from us and my husband is always over there and I know he sends her emails.
I visit one of my friends on a Thursday and I think they meet up then, too. He gives himself away because he gets dressed up to the nines!
Please tell me what to do. I know I’m right about this and want to leave him, but my family won’t believe it and it’ll cause a huge row. What’s your opinion?
Aunty Lisa says
The bottom line is you don’t trust him and, by the sounds of it, rightly so. Look, it doesn’t matter what your family think – you don’t even have to tell them who you think he’s seeing.
What you do need to say is that you have to leave him because you can’t be with someone you don’t even trust to leave the house for 10 minutes to buy a newspaper.
They don’t need to know all the details – it’s not their business. It should be enough for them to know you’re desperately unhappy and feel you’re being lied to.
If it does emerge that they’re having an affair and the family goes into meltdown, it’s their mess to clear up, not yours.
Our instincts are very rarely wrong. I stayed with my first husband two years longer than I should have because I didn’t want to believe what my gut was telling me.
When I had it confirmed that he was seeing someone else, I was actually relieved because I realised my instincts were right all along and I wasn’t going nuts!