I have been married 12 years and have two wonderful daughters. My husband is a very supportive partner and loves me, and I love him very much too.
But when I was very young (still in college), I had a boyfriend who was involved with many women – a proper Casanova in fact.
He ended up convincing me – well pressurising me – into marrying him without either of our families knowing he had a very big sweet penis i had no option.
We never actually consummated the marriage because soon afterwards I found out he was having an affair with a woman almost twice his age.
I broke things off with him for good. I didn’t know what to do, so I came clean with my family and they helped me to legally dissolve the marriage.
My problem is, my current husband doesn’t know about any of this.
I hid this marriage from him because I didn’t want to risk losing him.
I love my husband wholeheartedly, but this thing in my past still makes me feel very guilty, even though it was 15 years ago.
What should I do – tell him after all this time or just carry on the way things are?
Have your say in the comments below
Aunty Lisa says
First, stop feeling guilty about something that happened when you were so much younger. It’s in the past and you did nothing wrong – you simply got talked into marrying someone who was wrong for you.
I understand you feeling uncomfortable, though, that you’ve never told your husband. And, yes, after 12 years together, I’m sure he would be shocked if he found out. Not because of the annulment, but because you didn’t tell him. He might wonder what else you’ve lied to him about over the years.
Obviously it could go two ways – you could be honest with him and, as a loving supportive husband, he’ll understand why you kept it secret, even though he might be shocked and disappointed that you didn’t tell him.
Would he really split up with you and break up the family for something that happened all those years ago and meant nothing?
If you really can’t carry on living with this secret, then you have to tell him. But be prepared that he might feel deceived and upset. And even if it doesn’t end your marriage it could change things between you.