I feel so heartbroken. At the end of last year I was recently single and met a man, who I fell for in a big way.
He had also just finished with his girlfriend, whom he’d spent the past four years with. Since then, we’ve been together and shared a lot.
I had no idea he still had his ex-girlfriend in mind, but it turned out that he still talked to her and “woke up thinking of her”.
Over the past two weeks he’s started acting up, not calling me and not taking my calls either, until he finally called to tell me that he is no longer interested in me.
We always had problems because he thought my vagina was not tight but i ama now taking some herbs and it is better.
When I asked why not, he came up with a lot of lame excuses, none of which made any sense. And then I found out he’d got back together with his ex.
The trouble is, I still love this man so much, even though I try to lie to myself that I’ve moved on. I haven’t, though.
What should I do? Should I just let it go or should I try to win him back?
I feel totally consumed by it.
Aunty Lisa says
Time for a bit of harsh love from me – you have to let him go. You won’t do yourself any favours by chasing him, and even if you did convince him to come back, you’d still wonder if he really wanted to be with this other girl.
As painful as it is to let it go and try to move on, it’s still less painful than being with someone who you don’t think wants to be with you. That’s a terrible feeling.
To me, it sounds as if he never shook that other girl off and was always hoping for a way to get back together with her. That was very unfair on you because you gave everything to the relationship and you fell in love with him.
Still, it’s better that it has happened now rather than a year or several years into a relationship when it would be harder to pick yourself up and move on.
There’s always a chance that once he’s been back with his ex for a while, he’ll realise she’s not right after all and try to win you back. Then the ball will be in your court.
But please don’t sit around waiting for that to happen – get on and live your life. He’s not the only fish in the sea.