In February we’re going on a family holiday with my sister and her family. We both have kids who get on well together, so in theory it should be a great holiday for everyone.

My problem – and it’s a big one – is that I had a one-night stand with her husband about 18 months ago at a family wedding. Well, it was actually a quick clinch round the back of the village hall. We didn’t have full sex, but other things did happen that I’m not proud of.

I felt really ashamed and embarrassed afterwards, but he seemed to just brush it off like it was no big deal. I also get on well with my sister, which makes the guilt even harder to bear.

Her husband is a bit of a Jack-the-lad (possibly even a loose cannon), so I’m very worried that if there’s drink involved on holiday, he’ll either try it on again with me or blurt out what happened that night at the wedding.

It’s playing on my mind constantly and I’m even thinking of excuses to cancel the holiday. What do you suggest?

Aunty Lisa says

I’m not sure I would have agreed to go on holiday in the circumstances, but it sounds like it might be too late now unless you haven’t paid for it all and you can still back out without incurring a big financial loss.

You could just say the dates don’t work or you want a staycation instead to save money.

To be honest, no matter how much he’d had to drink, he’d be an idiot to blurt that out because it would ruin his marriage as well as yours. There’s nothing in it for him to spill the beans.

If he gets drunk and tries it on while no one else is around, you have to tell him in no uncertain terms that what happened before was a total mistake and will never happen again. And avoid being on your own with him!

I think you might have agreed to the holiday in case it looked suspicious if you didn’t want to go, but it wouldn’t have. Your sister isn’t looking at the situation with the knowledge you have.

I hope you’ve worked out the reason it happened – does your own marriage need attention? Is it a sibling rivalry thing with your sister? Work it out so you’re not vulnerable to it happening again.

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