I am 36 years old and have been a widow for five years now. I recently started dating and my family-in-law feels that I am being disrespectful by bringing a man into my home. They come any time into my home and want to have a say in who I must date as if I am a child or their property. I don’t know what to do?
Boitumelo replies: It is understandable that they also lost a son and are trying to heal. It’s unfair to put demands and expectations on you as if you are a child and can’t think for yourself. It seems they don’t think you have your whole life ahead of you, that you belong to them. How much longer must you pay your respects? When people don’t know their boundaries you have to continually enforce them, sometimes even involving the law. Get a protection order if it comes to that level.
MOM replies: Dahlink, you were widowed at 31 years of age. Only a fool would expect you to remain without a man forever. This is your life and you only have one life to live. Don’t waste the best years of your life listening to your past. The family of your dead husband has no authority over you.