My partner and I have been going out for five years, and in the last three years we only see each other when I need him to fix the house. He doesn’t spend time with me if I don’t ask him – he is always very busy. I don’t think he is cheating on me. Sometimes when we are together, he only reads the paper and then sleeps without even giving me a kiss, which means our sex life is dead. I think if our sex life were better our relationship would be better.
Concerned, Bloemfontein
Aunty Lisa says
I must disagree with you. I don’t believe the solution lies in improving your sex life. You have to wonder why there is no sex. I think there is no sex because there is no relationship. In fact, I believe that if you actually had a relationship of intimacy with this man, sexual activity would happen. It seems the two of you are comfortable with the arrangement you have. He provides you with a good house-fixing service, and you provide him with a newspaper to read and a bed to sleep in. He chooses not to be with you and chooses not to be sexual with you either. You must accept that this is a friendship only. This is not an intimate relationship. If you can accept this then you will be able to let go of your expectations of sex and love and caring from him and move on.  Maybe you accept this situation because you are afraid to be alone and single. Think about it. Personally, I would rather be alone than live with someone who did not give me loving attention. You deserve more.

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