I’ve recently started seeing someone I really like, but the problem is that my sister already knows him and doesn’t like him at all.

Recently, I heard her laughing about him behind his back and calling him “weird” and “creepy”. He actually tried to ask her out a few months ago and she turned him down. She seems to judge him because of what he’s got up to in the past – she has the impression that he’s a player, but he’s actually not like that at all and he’s never behaved like that with me.

I’m just getting to know him myself and I don’t know what to do because I feel she ought to respect my decision and not badmouth him in front of me.

I’m in my twenties, but still live with my mum and I’m now debating whether to bring him home to meet her at some point in the future because my sister says she wouldn’t welcome him.

What’s your advice? It’s got to the point where I’m thinking about moving away from home because I can’t deal with the stress.

Aunty Lisa says

It sounds like there could be a bit of jealousy going on here from your sister. Maybe she regrets turning him down or perhaps she is being judgmental and her nose is out of joint because you’ve made your own mind up. I don’t know how old your sister is, but she’s being incredibly immature.

Tell her she’s entitled to her opinion, but you don’t want to hear her badmouthing your boyfriend – you simply won’t engage in a conversation with her about it.

And also confide in your mum. Tell her the predicament you’re in and hopefully she’ll be reassuring – and hopefully have a word with your sister, too.

If your sister doesn’t want to see your boyfriend, then she doesn’t have to be at home when he comes over. But it’s her problem to deal with, not yours.

Maybe this situation has also shown you that you’re ready to move out on your own or to share a place with friends.

That might be something to work towards this year.

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