I’ve been seeing a girl for a few months now and we have become really close. I’m serious about her and could see myself being with her for a long time.

However, we haven’t told our parents about each other yet, as we’d both just come out of relationships that ended badly, so decided to take things slowly.

Last Saturday, I was out in her city with a group of my friends and got a little bit too drunk.

I ended up losing my friends, my wallet and, on top of that, my phone ran out of battery. So I was essentially stranded in Leeds with no way home.

I don’t know anyone who lives there apart from her, so the only place I could think to go to was her house. However, when I arrived, there was no one in apart from her sister, who didn’t answer the door (understandably so). A neighbour came to my rescue and let me charge my phone and stay there while I waited on a lift to arrive.

Now, her parents aren’t happy that I turned up uninvited and don’t believe that I was stranded. My girlfriend has told them my name but not that we’re together.

I asked her why she doesn’t just explain that we’re dating and then they might understand why I showed up
when I needed help, but she said they wouldn’t really be happy to hear that after what happened.

I don’t know what to do – I really like this girl but now I feel I’ve ruined things. She says everything will be fine, but I don’t know how we can have a healthy relationship when her family already hate me. I know they mean a lot to her so I wouldn’t be surprised if she dumped me because they disapprove. What can I do?

Aunty Lisa says

You don’t say how old you and your girlfriend are but I think this incident is in danger of getting blown out of
all proportion.

OK, you haven’t created the best impression and you were silly to get so drunk that you lost everything, including your mates, but it’s not the end of the world.

Why not send them a card or letter of apology, explaining you were genuinely stranded and, under normal circumstances, would never turn up anywhere uninvited.

If I received that, I would think it showed someone with a good character who was able to acknowledge his mistake and try to make it right.

Or simply send some flowers with a one-line apology if you don’t want to go into detail.

However, I think the most pressing thing to tackle is how committed your girlfriend is and why she’s so against telling people about your relationship.

You’ve been dating for several months now and I think it’s fair enough to ask her where she sees things going – and to tell her you want to move things on to the next level.

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