I’ve been feeling very lonely and empty for about eight months now after my relationship suddenly broke down. This just came out of nowhere.
I was so used to being with my partner all the time and I was totally shocked by his decision.
Even though I have a great group of friends, I still have very bad days when everything seems
Whenever I try to talk to my mum about it she shuts me down quite
quickly which, I think, is because she’s been treated for depression multiple times in the past and can’t bear the thought of me coming close to what she’s experienced.
I only really talk to one friend about how I feel, as my other pals didn’t
quite understand how incredibly low I was and were beginning to get bored of the conversations.
I’ve been to see my doctor, but nothing was really decided, and I’m currently on the waiting list for counselling.
I would be so grateful if you could tell me where I’m going wrong and how to get myself out of this headspace where I just feel so empty and unable to do anything about it.
Aunty Lisa says
As far as confidantes go, you only really need one good friend who listens.
And I think you should stop giving yourself such a hard time – try to keep a sense of reality.
You were dumped out of the blue and it hurts. It’s like grief and it does take time to get over properly.
Feeling so hurt and let down is all part of the healing process, but it does get easier and things will get better.
I think you can allow yourself days when you wallow in it and have a good cry, but the rest of the time I think you have to almost force yourself to get up and get on with your day. The more you do that, the less of a chore it’ll seem.
Like any loss, a break-up is painful, and sadly there’s no escaping it, but it’s important to have other distractions in your life and to keep busy.
As for your mum, perhaps she’s also worried that seeing you so low might trigger depression in her.
There’s nothing worse than seeing your child in pain, so she might be a bit wary in the interests of self preservation.