I have been asked out on dates by women and I always refuse. I’m not good at the whole social aspect of dating: Always have to call or text to check up on them, spend money on dates, etc. I just love being by myself and not have someone depend on me. Only time I talk to women if its about business.


Pepper Chen
If you’re a dude who isn’t attracted to women—any women—at all, then by definition, you are not straight.

“Straight” isn’t a default that you can just use to mean “not gay.” Gay and straight aren’t the only options out there. And it honestly sounds like you might be asexual or aromantic.

I also wanted to point out that attraction has nothing to do with dealing with the logistics of dating. You’re either interested in someone, or you’re not. Stuff like worrying about transportation and social norms and fighting over who foots the bill has nothing to do with your orienation.

Ernie Dunbar
So how do you know you’re a straight man?

I knew I was into women by the time I was 9. By the time I was 12, it was an overwhelming attraction. None of the complaints you have against dating have ever been a deterrent to me, although I think some the best dates are the ones where you don’t have to spend money at all. Going out to see fireworks or Christmas lights or a walk in the park together. Or just hanging out at a cafe is pretty cheap too. So your social expectations are quite baffling to me.

There’s not a lot of detail in your question, so I’m kind of shooting in the dark here, but have you considered that you might be asexual? This label is particularly helpful if someday you do want to seek out a life partner. It’s better for two asexuals to marry than an asexual to lie about their interest in sex in order to convince someone to marry them – which actually happens all the time. So you might want to take this into consideration.

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