Hi Aunty Lisa,

My problem is a medical one, I hope you are able to assist such problems as well.

I am crying right now.. My boyfriend and I have been trying for 8 months now to get pregnant. I just checked now – a few seconds ago, looked down and realized I had gotten my period.

We have been having unprotected sex since early last year and this time round I actually ovulated and caught it in time! We are trying everything and I really don’t know what to think!

Is there something wrong with me? God seems to hate us, especially me. Is it not the right timing? What are we doing wrong???

Am I barren aunty? It’s really eating my mind, I’m never going to be pregnant or have a family of my own?

Hello my friend,

Thank you for contacting Aunty Lisa for professional counselling. Aunty Lisa is trained to help solve any issue that has something to do with Christianity, Social, Marital, Health and Sex issues. So definitely your problem is part of my core scope.

When you and your partner have decided you want to have a baby together, it’s likely you’ll want to conceive as soon as possible so you can start enjoying your pregnancy. However it’s important not to lose hope. It can take a while to get pregnant but many couples who have trouble conceiving in the first few months or even years go on to conceive naturally and have a healthy pregnancy. There are options out there, and steps you can take to find out why you might be having trouble conceiving.

If you’ve been trying for a baby for less than a year and you’re under the age of 35, there’s no need to visit your doctor just yet. One in 10 couples take a year or more to conceive, so you may just have to wait a little longer.

Most doctors say you shouldn’t worry until after an entire year of trying to conceive with no success. However, ask your OB to refer you to a reproductive endocrinologist (R.E.)for some tests. If there’s a physiological reason you’re not conceiving you can start exploring your options, and if the tests come back normal you can relax and keep at it.

But if you are over 35, you might want to visit a specialist after just six months of TTC. Fertility starts to decline at this point, and by discovering any problems early you can avoid wasting time.

Wondering if the reason things are taking so long have to do more with you or your partner? It’s super common for women to blame themselves for fertility issues, but the truth is, about 35 to 40{863ae21f3883e951777bdbc8607717246c41fed58c5a71d477243a35f9718ce7} of cases with infertility issues can be traced back to the man, another 35 to 40{863ae21f3883e951777bdbc8607717246c41fed58c5a71d477243a35f9718ce7} can be traced to the woman, and the rest fall into a grey area mostly due to a combo of factors. The only way to know for sure is to meet with a Reproductive Endocronologist and both get tested. Still, there are some warning signs that could point you in the right direction, even before you see the doc.

Also know that the age of men plays a role in getting a woman pregnant. His sperm count may not decrease, but it starts to lose motility around 40. Weight plays another role as well. If he  is underweight or overweight, it may be taking a toll on his sperm function. There are also many other factors that affect pregnancy which I will not list due to limited space issues, but the bottom line is if you are below the age of 35, then don’t worry yet, give it a couple of extra months and upon trying for over 12 months, you may then consult your doctor for medical tests and assistance. But it’s quite normal for women between the age of 25 and 35 to fall pregnant after over 12 months of unprotected sex.

Lastly, God doesn’t hate you. Always appreciate the great things that He has done for you. Others didn’t even get to the age of wanting to fall pregnant, they dies before even finishing school. But God has given you the gift of life, which is more important than anything else. Thank Him for that and He will bless you more.

Yours, Aunty Lisa

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