Dear Aunty Lisa,

I desperately need your help.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and we both agreed that our sex life has gotten a bit stale. He wants to spice it up by having me eat his poop. I thought he was joking at first but he then became extremely obsessed with making me eat his poop by any means necessary. He wants to poop in my mouth and make out with the poop in my mouth, basically snowballing it back and forth. He also wants me to swallow the poop when we’re done.

I told him this was disgusting but he isn’t taking a no for an answer. He’s been pooping into containers and leaving them in the fridge so when I go to get something to eat there’s poop there instead. He also poops on the floor and orders me to eat the poop. He once made me a sandwich one time with poop inside of it and thought I wouldn’t notice, but I did. He even one time came into the living room when I had a friend over and he just took a dump on our coffee table, causing my friend to scream and run away.

He’s been trying to get me to drink his pee lately, too, as I’ve caught him peeing in my drink several times.

He basically wants to turn me into his human toilet and won’t stop for anything. He told me I should just give in and eat his poop and drink his pee because he said he’s going to get his way “whether I like it or not”.

What am I supposed to do? I love him a lot and he’s super hot, so I don’t want to break up with him. Should I really just eat his poop and drink his pee? After all, he is the one who broke my virginity and I can’t afford to break up with a person who has been fu.cking me for free for all these past three years.

For the love of God help!

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