How can i safely stretch my asshole in one week?

I need to stretch it by next week. Me and 3 of my guy friends are getting together and i need to be ready for it. Yes i am a guy so please no homophobic remarks.

PS: Any mothers out there? How did you stretch for your baby?

COMMUNITY RESPONSES

From anonymous:
“Any mothers out there? How did you stretch for your baby?” <— IS THAT EVEN REAL?! Omfg lmao! A woman does not have to “train” or “stretch” for child birth – the vagina NATURALLY expands and stretches to pass the child.

The anus is way different than a vagina. It does not produce any natural lubricant. It does “expand” in order to pass a bowel movement, so yes, anal sex IS possible without pain or damage. You just need to do it CORRECTLY. Make sure you use plenty of lube ANY time you engage in anal play – whether you’re alone or with someone else. Also, always make sure you go SLOW. You can’t just shove something up there and expect it to feel epic. It takes TIME. If you’ve never had anything up there before, start with just basic fingering. Start with one well-lubed finger (also lube your anus), then work up to 2 fingers at the same time once you’re comfortable. Once you’re comfortable with multiple fingers, try small toys. A small vibrator, a small/slim dildo, small butt plugs, etc. Once you’re comfortable with that, try a bigger sized or slightly thicker dildo. Then, try with a real penis. Before ANY penis enters you, ALWAYS make sure the guy plays with you a little to get you relaxed and in the mood and make sure your anus and his penis are both well-lubed before. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first time having anal or your 100th – you need foreplay and lube every single time!

From Blaise:
Okay, first you need to take all the savage gay jokes people could write on this answer. You need to roll it up and fold it a couple times. After this you need to gently insert it into your rectum. The pain of this is only half of the pain your emotions would be facing if everyone unleashed their inner savage onto this question. After a couple hours remove the paper. Please, toss it out. After you have done that you can begin thinking about how you got to this place in life. How you made these friend choices. How your parents would feel if they heard their son is stretching his asshole to prepare for a hangout with his guys.

From Winter:
Actually yes, some pregnant women do stretch or prepare for child birth by exercising and walking, it helps to ease the pain she will endure while giving birth. But that won’t work for buttholes, that is something completely different.

From Dee:
I’m a mother and I didn’t stretch myself out to give birth, my babies head and shoulders took care of it for me! But, to answer your question, you really can’t stretch your butt open safely. You could masturbate with a dildo to get used to it, and I suggest you get plenty of lubricant to make it easier on yourself. Nonetheless, have fun and be careful. Good luck

From Anonymous:
I’d been prepared to tell you how, until you asked about how mothers stretched. Ugly trollery, dude.

From Morgan T:
I usually use a baseball bat. You can also try with a cucumber.

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