I can’t stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?
It’s hard to stop thinking about an ex. Personally I think it’s best to stop trying to stop thinking about them but embrace it. Spend a portion of time thinking about it, allocate it and then have other activities planned for the rest of the day. I talked to friends about how I was feeling and they helped with the process. Each day became easier to deal with; when I stopped trying to get rid of the thoughts but embraced it for what it was at the time it became more manageable. Whilst I’m saying this I’m not going to say it was easier. There were lots of areas I struggled with but with the help of friends and external people to talk to in confidence it was easier. I soon realized that it was an opportunity to relearn more about myself and what I really wanted out of relationships and life. It’s a very difficult time after a break up for generally both parties but allowing yourself the ability to grieve about a relationship, I found, was key to acceptance and growth. Everyone is different and people can take longer in this process than others, just give yourself time.
Usually when this happens, it’s because we’ve put too much of ourselves into a relationship and become enmeshed. Detaching is difficult because our personal identity has become confused with our identity specific to that relationship. In cases like this it is most helpful to spend time reflecting on who YOU are, independent of any relationship with anyone else. What are your goals, dreams, sources of happiness? If this is difficult, time spent on grounding and other self-care exercises – being outside in nature, exercising, meditating, deep breathing, journaling, singing, dancing – will be helpful and should be your main focus for awhile. You’ll most likely find it easier to answer those questions after re-centering and grounding. Creating a vision board of your future goals and dreams is a great activity that will provide you a visual reminder of the direction in which you wish to head. When you are passionately in love with you and your own life, the past that you shared with your ex will fade rapidly. You’ll also be in a better position to welcome someone equally as whole into your world when the time is right. Good luck!
The best way is to open yourself to the future ; body and mind. Try to engage in new creative activities that will make you feel recharged and fresh. Accept the idea that the relation you had made you wiser and stronger. Finally forgive your ex and yourself to be able to feel free and happy.
I have the same problem. Its not easy to move on like that especially if you both dated for a while, it will take time and it wont be easy to move in but you have to try and be happy for yourself.
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