I know you and your blog readers are going to frown and hate me for this but I don’t know where else to run to. I went for confession and my pastor assured that God has forgiven I should go and sin no more. He made matters worse by saying that aborting the baby is worse than sleeping with my daughter’s husband. I need someone to wake me, the nightmare is just taking too long. The way my daughter looks at me these past days is not helping.

I have searched all over the internet for this situation and I am yet to find anything that remotely correlates. I lost my job in 2014 and moved in with my eldest daughter and her family. I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on her husband and have secretly lusted after him.

I have been divorced for over 12 years and have had very few male companions in my life since then. I’m still very young and attractive, because of early marriage, I had my children quite early and I think youthful exuberance is the reason I could not keep my marriage. It always felt like I lost so much getting married that early and wasting precious years tending a man and raising babies .

When I moved in I took on a motherly type role in the household and catered to everyone’s
needs. My grandchildren, and especially my son in law. I lusted after him, I seduced him and I entraped him. My daughter’s husband is rich and good looking, he has most those qualities of a good man. Does not joke with his family’s wellbeing.

My daughter has a busy schedule with her job and boutique. One day he was swimming his laps in the pool and I came out in a 2 piece bikini that I purposely selected. I entered the pool and interrupted his morning routine.

It was from that moment forward that I made my s3xualiity known to him and flaunted myself to him. A few weeks later we had intercourse for the first time, unprotected with primal lust and passion. He filled a void that I had been missing for over 12 years. I felt 19 years old again and gave no thoughts to my daughter or my two grandchildren.

I was not the best mother to begin with, I was pregnant initially at 16 again at 17. I was taught that s3x was the key to keeping your man happy, which was wrong. By age 26 I was divorced, alone and competing with my ex-husband who had again married a young bimbo who was now raising my kids. I experimented with drugs and was very much strung out for 4 years until I found God.

The power I held over my son in law was intoxicating. I was in love with him, we had s3x in the pool, in the early hours of the morning trying not to wake anyone and even in his own bed. At first I was careful and took my pill, but I lapsed on my prescription and missed my period.

I have not told him about this, I haven’t told anyone. I want to abort this baby but I cannot bring myself to this. I cannot bring myself to admitting the truth to anyone. I wish I were dead, I wish I had never had these feelings and pushed this issue. I am pregnant and alone with my daughter’s brother or sister inside of me. I am a monster, I don’t know if my daughter will disown me now. Will He marry me?

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