Hey aunty Lisa,

I am so worried, these days my man doesn’t spend time with me. He cancels his shifts at work and go drinking with his friends.

We don’t stay together, he stays with his brother. Sometimes if you ask him why he didn’t pitch up, he always makes an excuse about his big brother. Is he cheating or I am just wrong??

Hi my friend,

Thank you for contacting Aunty Lisa, your best friend when it comes to quality advice and professional counselling.

I’m sorry to learn that all is not well in your relationship. Your boyfriend might be cheating on you and he might NOT be cheating on you. It’s very hard to tell at the moment since you didn’t provide much information.

However to further suspect if your man is now cheating on you, you need to scrutinize other things. Try asking for his phone to make a phone call or do something using his phone. If he refuses or is hesitant then he might be hiding something. I understand that you are not staying together but I believe once in a while he takes a bath during your visit. Also notice if he goes bathing with his phone. That shows he is hiding something that he doesn’t want you to know.

Also scrutinize the way he answers some of his phone calls, especially the ones he won’t explain who he was talking to. A cheating man usually avoids answering phone calls from another girlfriend when he is with the other lover. He either chooses to put his phone on flight mode, switch it off or answer the call but will be giving one-word answers before asking to call the person back a while later.

So in short, the way he handles his phone should tell you whether he is cheating on you or not.

Now coming back to your situation. It appears as if your guy is stressed. There could be something that is eating his mind, probably something that can not be solved easily. That is why he cancels shifts at work and go for beer binge with friends.

Most men choose to go and drink with friends as a way of suppressing stress. This won’t solve the cause of the stress, but according to most men, it’s a better way of dealing with stress (temporarily).

Basing on the little information that you provided, it actually doesn’t look like he is cheating, but he is just stressed and something personal might be going on in his life.

I have two advices for you. The first is that you are beginning to suspect that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Take a closer look at the way he jealously protects his phone, or answers his phone calls. After some time, that should tell you whether he is cheating or not. You might need to inbox me again regarding the way he manages his phone and I will help you to decode possible meanings.

The second advice is talk to your boyfriend and ask if there is anything stressing him. Let him know that you are so concerned about his welfare and that you want to help with with emotional and moral support towards whatever he is going through. He might give an excuse of his brother always when there is even a gibber problem, but he might just not be reay to share it with you at this moment. Do not pressurise him, only show him that you care so much for him, hopefully one sweet day he will narrate his ordeal to you.

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