Dear Aunty Lisa,

I’m terribly worried that my daughter is sexually active. How do I find out without making her angry with me? It is imperative that I find out whether my daughter is having sex or not, however, I really have no idea how to do that without invading her privacy and ultimately making her furious.

There is no way she’s going to tell me if I ask, she’s definitely not that kind of daughter at all. I’m highly worried. She’s only in Grade 7, she cannot be indulging herself in these kinds of acts until far later in life. I recently heard that her best friend, who is also in Grade 7 is no longer a virgin, and I suspect my daughter could have been influenced by this naughty girl to have sex at a tender age too.

I made a terrible mistake when I was a teenager and lost my virginity at 14 years old. It was possibly the worst decision I’ve ever made, and it left me with a lot of scars, as well as an unwanted pregnancy. Trust me, you will never know what real guilt and pain is until you have an abortion. I haven’t felt so guilty in my life.

I do not under any circumstances want my daughter to go through the same things I did. I would never forgive myself. At some point, I contemplated talking to her about my experience with this, but then I decided against it. She would just tell me to stop talking and go upstairs to her room, knowing her. I just want to save her from all the wounds and problems that having sex at such a young age will leave her with.

I want her to enjoy her life, whilst it’s still so simple and easy for her. I really don’t know what steps I should take regarding this. Like I mentioned before, there is absolutely no way she will talk to me. Maybe an idea would be for me to talk to her boyfriend? Or maybe have my husband talk to them both about it?

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