Dear Aunty Lisa,

Thandi and I met seven years ago and fell in love at first sight. Because of our situations at the time we didn’t start dating right away. We actually started dating three years ago when she told me she had broken up with her boyfriend of five years. But the truth of the matter was that we were in a love triangle with her alleged ex but I didn’t know it. One day I got sick of it and ended it altogether. Thandi and I stopped talking and that was that, or so I thought.

My feelings for Thandi are very, very strong and I would do anything for her. So six months ago we started talking again. This time there was no ex involved. I am a firm believer in second chances! We are now engaged. But there is one little issue I have. Thandi talks to a guy named Bill who she had a past with. They had a one-night stand a couple of years ago and we have gotten into fights over him texting her. It’s not anything romantic between them, but just a simple conversation and on occasion they do hang out and grab a quick lunch or something. My problem is that because of her cheating and the old love triangle, I’m afraid she may cheat again. I tried talking to her and I talked to Bill and they both assure me that it was just one night and that they are just friends and nothing more, and Thandi has sworn to me herself that she has zero interest in him. She tells me every time I bring him up that if she wanted to be with him she would, but she says she’s in love with me.

We are planning our wedding and Thandi has already bought her dress and we have a date set. My question is, how do I overcome the feeling that something will happen between Bill and my fiancée when they hang out? How do I know that Bill won’t make a move on Thandi? How do I know she won’t cheat on me when she has a past history of cheating?

Xulu — who can’t seem to rest easy

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