Hie Aunty Lisa
I went through a bad break up with my partner and was comforted by one of the guys at work. He was in a relationship at the time, so he simply talked to me about it and he cheered me up a lot.
We’re very similar and have a lot in common, so have always got along really well.
His girlfriend didn’t like the fact that we were becoming quite good friends so, out of respect for her, he decided that we shouldn’t talk to each other any more.
Recently, he broke up with her and has shown an interest in pursuing something with me, which I’m considering.
However, my manager at work absolutely despises this man and I find myself denying my interest in him. Furthermore, my manager, who is married, has expressed that he has feelings for me, too.
I’m beginning to think the smart move would be for me to leave my job and, after some time, see if the newly single guy is still interested.
Or should I cut all communication with both of them and start afresh with fewer complications?
What do you think?
Aunty Lisa says
First of all, you should let your manager know very clearly that you’re not interested in anything romantic – he’s married and needs to know it’s never going to happen. If he’s professional – which I hope he is – this shouldn’t affect your working relationship.
As for the other guy, as long as it’s not affecting your work and you keep the romance out of office hours, I don’t see the harm in getting to know each other better.
It’s none of your manager’s business and he probably only despises this guy because he knows the two of you fancy each other.
It’s all very well saying you’ll leave your job, but it’s a huge decision to make over two blokes.
Fine if you actually want to leave and have another job to go to, but please do not feel forced out of your job or derail your career because of this situation. That would be ridiculous.
Unless it’s affecting your work, then what you do outside of your job and who you choose to date is absolutely no one’s business