I’m 14 and was raised by my mother. Dad passed on when I was 7. Its always been just me and my mom and I’m very close to her.
Recently she’s started seeing this guy. I hate that. I just don’t want another man in our lives. My dad was a great guy and a great father and husband.
I feel like my mother’s cheating on his soul. Him and me, she’s cheating on us.
I don’t want my mom to get married again. I don;t want some guy to steal her from me. They’ll probably have a new child ( the thought of which I can’t stand) and she’ll stop loving me. She’ll never love me the same. I don’t want my mother to sleep with another guy.
Call me selfish, I don’t care. She’s the one who’s selfish and doesn’t care about how I feel.
I already made it very clear to her on how I feel about this but she still see’s him. I hate that guy. I hate my mom too.
I asked her if she still loves dad to which she said yes. How can she still love him, the child they had together (me) and love a different guy, the way she loved my dad?
I’m still here, a constant reminder of her time with my dad.
I just hate how she gave her heart to some stranger now.
I feel cheated. Its not fair.
Out of all the women in this world, why is this new idiot come for my mother out of everyone? What’s his problem?
What can I do?
I’m sure this is difficult for you, primarily because you’ve been accustom to having your Mom all to yourself. However, the truth is, as adults we desire the companionship of someone our own age, and a partner. We also desire sex as adults. It’s the nature of humans.
Your dad is gone, and im so sorry about that. It’s tragic to lose a parent, i understand that. But when your dad died, it was the end of your parents’ earthly relationship. Death is final for those of us left behind. And i’m sure your mom has been very lonely without an adult companion all these years.
Her having a boyfriend has nothing to do with you. She’s not doing it to harm you or anyone else. She’s doing it because of a human desire and need.
Your mom has had at least seven years to come to acceptance about your father’s death and to let him go. She can still love him and miss him. But after all this time, it seems she’s ready to move forward with her life, and don’t you want her to be happy or experience some real love from another human being? If she were my mom? I would want her to feel happy and fulfilled.
Just because she is seeing a man, it doesn’t mean she loves you less, he’s not “replacing” your dad either. This is a new chapter in your mom’s life. She is not cheating you or anyone, she’s taking care of her own needs.
I’m sure that, over the years, your mom has felt very lonely and isolated without a loving partner. Let her be happy…. I am sure there will come a day when you meet someone special and I am also sure your Mom will be very happy for YOU too.
Just love your mom, respect her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
You asked what the guy’s “problem” is? He doesn’t have one… most likely he feels a great deal of care and attraction toward your mom. She’s fortunate. And maybe YOU could give him a chance….
What can you do? You can focus on YOU, your life, your responsibilities, your future, your goals, your social life/friends, and how fortunate you are to have a wonderful Mom.
I think your feelings are very understandable, but as you can see from the answers you’re getting, a rant never comes across very well.
By 14, you should understand some basic things about the love between a man and a woman. One of the most basic of all is that your dad would want your mom to be happy. If you love someone why would you hope that they are NOT happy?
Are you saying your mom should wait until you’re grown up and out of the house before she gets to date a man? Or even worse, she never gets to date a man to honor your dad’s memory? I doubt your dad would have wanted that.
For your own peace of mind, you need to find a way to accept this. You call this guy an idiot for wanting to be with your mom ? Fine, but didn’t your dad make the same choice? Maybe you should start realizing how lucky you are to have a mom like that.