Premarital s_ex is a morally good thing. It's time we stopped seeing it as something wrong and started seeing it as something that, for most of us, is totally right. Here are 8 good reasons why you must have s_ex before marriage.

8. People who have s_ex are happier.
Fact! Having s_ex once a week is the happiness equivalent of an extra R50,000 in the bank. Especially if you're having s_ex with a rich dude. (Kidding. Rich dudes don't try in bed.)

7. s_ex is healthy and natural.
Human beings reproduce s_exually, which means that each of us is almost certainly the result of a s_exual union — you might even say we're fucklings. It is natural and normal for most mature human animals to want and to pursue s_ex, and our bodies reward us when we do — we get some exercise, endorphins, orgasms.

6. Premarital s_ex leads to more stable marriages.
s_ex, as in having it before you get married, is associated with longer, more stable marriages. Because after they get married, women who got their ya-ya's out earlier in life tend to stay married, tend to raise more successful children, and tend to be happier.

5. s_ex feels great and is fun.
Using s_ex as a positive way to interact with someone who is totally into it rather than a self-destructive way to get back at your dad who didn't hug you enough or your ex who cheated on you. This means doing it with a willing partner, this means making sure your partner has a good time, this means protecting yourself using condoms or body sized sandwich bags or whatever is sufficient for the two of you to have the best time possible in the safest way possible.

4. A wedding isn't a magic spell that transforms s_ex from something that is "bad" to something that can't ever be bad.
Especially if you've lived your life up to your wedding believing that you had a sin-hole between your legs. s_ex is good whether you're married or not, and certainly folks who wait until marriage can have a lot of s_ex once they tie the knot. But waiting until marriage often means both early marriage and conservative views on marriage and gender – and people who marry early and/or hold traditional views on marriage and gender tend to have higher divorce rates and unhappier marriages.

3. People are "pleasure starved."
Focusing too much on the guilt we're supposed to feel about being dirty for wanting things that we naturally want is giving all of us a complex. It is making our lives worse.

2. Not everyone is s_exually compatible, so figure that shit out before you walk down the aisle.
s_exual compatibility matters in relationships, and bad s_ex, for many people, is a dealbreaker. Take the car out for a test drive, and if the stick shift feels awkward to you or the airbags frighten you, move along. Someone else will be happy to drive that car. (This was a dick and balls joke.)

1. Discouraging people from having premarital s_ex has never, not once, not at any point in human history, succeeded in getting people to actually stop having s_ex.
95{863ae21f3883e951777bdbc8607717246c41fed58c5a71d477243a35f9718ce7} of the world population engages in s_ex before marriage. Even in previous generations, the vast majority of people got busy before they tied the knot. So pretending that abstinence is a viable option for any meaningful segment of the population is at best obtuse and at worst really, really, really fuc.king dumb.

Breaking News via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to our website and receive notifications of Breaking News by email.